One day I was bored, as it happens when in lockdown. I decided to go on Tinder, to have some fun, talk to people, when suddenly, I met someone.
He was this tall brown eye man with a lesbian ex who he had a boy with. The ex wife actually left him because she realized she was a lesbian and fell in love with a woman. In other words, I met Ross. #FriendsAddict
He was funny and the conversation was fluent, finally a guy I could have fun conversations with! We moved on to whatsapp. Days went by and we kept talking non-stop all day everyday. We talked about life, about funny stories from our past (I’ve got a few!), it was good and dandy!
It was the moment to get to know each other in person. We were both nervous because we had gotten to the point where we talked on the phone frequently! We’ve decided to have a code, because why not? After much thought we decided on “I must go because I have to bathe my fish.” It was so stupid it would make the unconfortable moment of “I’m not into you” be funny and all would be good!
Friday came along, probably the day you would have expected for us to meet, but no, he is a dad so we decided to meet on Sunday. “Let’s meet this Sunday, I drop off my kid and I go to visit you, we could have dinner” “Yes, sounds like a plan!”.
I had never dated someone with a child but I actually did like that side of him. He spent all the weekends with his kid, no distractions, focused on the little one (not going to put an #aww hashtag because come on, that is what a dad is supposed to do! So here we go: #ARealDad, better hashtag!)
So, as I was saying, Friday came by, we talked, everything seemed fine. But then Saturday came and things started to go south. He was distant, and just plain weird with me. “Maybe he is having a difficult day?” I calmed myself by inventing random excuses for his behaviour. Let’s be honest, no one wants to think they are going to get ghosted!
Sunday came, no signs of him. “Ok, he is gone” I thought. I still took a shower and got ready, just in case! Though I knew deep inside that a red flag had appeared somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out why or more importantly what was that red flag.
Suddenly he texted me: “My kid asked me to go to McDonalds, so I am going to have dinner with him, rain check?”
He pulled his kid card, what could I say? “Of course, no worries! Have fun at dinner”.
Monday everything went back to normal: the conversation lasted all day, and so the week went by and we were “back to normal” (whatever that was). We talked, laughed and talked. “Let’s meet this Sunday” “Ok!” I said and took a stupid shower, he couldn’t make it because blablablablabla.
Ok, what is going on? Are we becoming pen friends through whatsapp? I had to make all this stop, were we going to meet? How could I say something when his excuse was always his kid? So I decided to self-invite myself to the town he lived in. He liked the idea! He canceled, again.
Ok bye boy.
Two weeks later I downloaded Bumble, because why not! He was there! We match, we start talking again. Long story short we never met.
I love Friends, but clearly the real Ross had some issues he needed to resolve before going back to the dating world.
The day I accepted that I decided to clean my house to get my head off of him. That is when I realized I am Monica, not Rachel!
Fashion sense is not something I was born with, but man I am great at cleaning and organizing. Sometimes you have to accept who you are, some of you are Rachel and meant to meet your Ross and some of us are like Monica.
Chandler, where are you?