Today’s article is brought to you by the man who didn’t understand why the sentence “I sometimes help my wife with the house” is simply wrong and incorrect.
Hint: it is not the “sometimes”.
I was going into a room for a meeting, no one had arrived there so I got myself a coffee and sat down ready to message a friend. Suddenly, one co-worker comes and sits down with his own coffee. We were both five minutes early, guess we both like to be punctual.
Small talk, something that sometimes is great and sometimes is tedious as fuck, started. We were talking about cleaning the house and if we wanted to have a cleaning person or not when he said: “My wife does the cleaning but I sometimes help her with the house”.
Excuse me? My inner and outer feminist was furious. I kindly asked: “What do you mean you sometimes help her?”
“Yes, I sometimes do stuff, when I have time. For example two days ago I did the dishes”.
“You are not understanding my question, what do you mean with you help her? Is the house only hers or is it as well yours?”
“It’s our house, but don’t be a crazy feminist. You know what I meant. When I can, I do some chores”.
“But you didn’t say that. You said that you helped her. As if chores were her job and you gave her a hand once in a while”.
The boss came into the room, followed by the interns and the meeting started. Our conversation had to be put aside, but oh I would not do that!
“I need George to do the report for tomorrow 9am” said our boss.
“I can help you with the report George. I mean I know it is your job to do it, but if I have some free time I can help you”.
“Thank you for your help, but I think George should do it on his own since it is his job.” said out boss.
“Ok, perfect” I said, meaning: “You see George? If I use the word “help” it means it is not my job, it is your job and I can give you a hand, help you as a favour. The house chores are not your wife’s job. Both of you own the house therefore both of you own the responsibility of keeping the house clean."
“Understood” said George. Hopefully he understood what I was trying to explain.
And then I asked myself: are women who say that they “help” their husbands with the house chores considered beautiful souls because they help their partners?
Do men understand that a house is not the reflection of a women’s ability to keep a household, but the reflection of the couple? Do they understand that if the house is from both of them, the cleaning should be done by both of them? Do they understand that saying that they “help” is simply something horrible to say?