Meeting a fake Chandler



The universe has a weird way of working. The last post I wrote that I had realized I was more of a Monica instead of a Rachel and that I wanted to meet my Chandler.

Surprise future me: you will meet a Chandler, but a fake one. Get ready for a three week rollercoaster love story.

We met on an app, because why not?

He asked me what I was doing, I said drinking a coffee. He said I want some. I said come here.

All in good fun when suddenly he said: I could go.

You could come, I said.

He came.


Three days later he left. It was the longest first date ever. We were obsessed with each other, couldn’t let the other one go. Red flag you say? Well I didn’t see it because I was living my Disney movie.


A day passed by. I miss you. I miss you too. Want to come? Yes. He came.

Three weeks later he left. Read that again. Three weeks later he left. Obsessive much?


Now looking back I can totally see how there were many red flags, the first one being the first fight. It was so silly yet it got blown out of proportion.


To be honest I can’t recall how the fight started, I just remember that that night he slept on the coach and that was his own choice. He became distant, not talking to me.


The next morning, I, in good faith, decided to sit down with him and talk but it just got worse. He would only answer in monosyllabic words and the conversation didn’t go anywhere. But he did, he left.


I truly wanted to get this fight situation over with, so I called him and he came back to my place. We talked it out but only superficially. We decided it had been a misunderstanding and moved on. What a way to lie to myself!


Three days later another fight. I was exhausted from his silent. No one deserves to be treated with so much disrespect as to be ignored. I told him that and he didn’t like it so he left, again.

We didn’t know it was going to be the last fight.


A friend of mine once told me that when things are meant to be they are probably not complicated. It was a sentence that stuck with me for many years. And she was right. This silent treatment, this coming and leaving, it was all manipulation and I was ready to let go. I deserve better.


He called. He was sorry for everything and even though he said everything I once wanted to hear, it had been two fights too late. I called it quits.

Sometimes in life you get caught up in the moment, thinking that the universe or whatever is giving you exactly what you want. The truth is, the universe is giving you exactly what you need.


I wanted a Chandler, and I got a lesson. Earlier in my life maybe I would have caved, in the name of “love” but in my thirties no way! I have surely learned my lesson: everyone deserves someone who treats them well, respects them and definitely does not ignore them. Everyone deserves to be loved.


Thank you Universe for reminding me of my worth.



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